


Quickie

by Agent_Up



Category: Avengers, MCU, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Science Bros, about the avengers, and Bruce and tony speak in shorthand, idk - Freeform, its a fic, its cute, um, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_Up/pseuds/Agent_Up
Summary: “Hey, Brucie Bear, do we have time for a quickie?” Tony delighted in the looks being given to him from the team ranging from exasperated (Bruce), disgusted (Cap), confused (Thor), and carefully blank (Nat and Clint).“A WHAT!” Cap yelled at TonyOr when The Avengers (Exept Tony and Bruce) misunderstand the meaning if ‘quickie’.





	Quickie

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a thing. I hope you enjoy it. Theres a threat at the end
> 
> Also, for clarity, all of Tony’s text is in italics.

This week’s token bad guy was… interesting to say the least. At least they were original, though.

“You have 7 hours before this 8 ton rock falls and kills these 12 children sleeping in the orphanage.” The video blinked out and the Avengers were left with a blank screen.

_ “Well that was  _ something _ ”  _ Tony wasn’t quite sure what to say, which, to be honest, was a first.  _ “That was the lamest plan I have ever heard. DUM-E could have come up with something better.” _ Steve’s sigh was audible over the air conditioning of the SHIELD briefing room.

“Tony, now’s not the time. There are people in danger.” Natasha’s sharp voice cut across the silence.

There was a pause as Cap took a deep breath before he spoke, “Look, just, we need a way to either stop the rock or get the kids out of there.”

“Well, they did say they would drop the rock if we entered the building so we’d have to find a way to catch it instead.” Bruce looked tired, but there was a spark in his eye and he began running numbers in his head. What he said was true though, Villain Of The Week had been fairly thorough and the only foreseeable way to save the kids was to catch the rock. 

“ _ Hey, Brucie Bear, do we have time for a quickie?” _ Tony delighted in the looks being given to him from the team ranging from exasperated (Bruce), disgusted (Cap), confused (Thor), and carefully blank (Nat and Clint). 

“A WHAT!” Cap yelled at Tony, “How irresponsible do you have to be to not understand what’s going on here? People are in danger!”

Bruce’s voice broke in with an attempt to diffuse the situation, “Relax Cap, it’s not what you think. Tony I don’t think we have time.”

_ “But it would be so fun now!” _

“Fine.”

_ “Great! J! What’s our high score?” _

JARVIS’s voice piped up from Tony’s phone, sitting in the conference table. “37.24 seconds, sir. I believe that this qualifies for a shorthand debate.” J’s refusal to call it a ‘quickie’ as Tony had dubbed it amused the engineer to no end.

_ “Great! 3, 2, 1, GO!” _

“First-“

_ “The nuclear-“ _

“But with the-“

_ “Yes, only-“ _

“If that-“

_ “I don’t think so.” _

“But if-“

_ “No.” _

“Taking into account-“

_ “As long as-“ _

“Time wise

_ “Are we?” _

“Only if we include-”

_ “On the suit?” _

“To what extent?”

_ “Units?” _

“Metric.”

_ “Then 6 kilograms.” _

“Can the repulsors-“

_ “With upgrades.” _

“Vibranium?”

_ “8 grams.” _

“T’challa?”

_ “Titanium-Gold alloy.” _

“Then 12 grams.”

_ “And hydrocarbonic acid, right?” _

“Yes.”

_ “Time frame?” _

“4 hours”

_ “Call it, J!” _

“I believe your time was 25.91 seconds. This beats your old record by 11.33 seconds.” Came JARVIS’s voice, sounding oddly proud for a robot.

_ “Yes!” _ Tony shouted, followed with,  _ “Come on Kermit, let’s go save some orphans!” _ Bruce followed, leaving a very confused team of Avengers behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos or I’ll lick your bellybutton and invert you arm.


End file.
